Tuesday, October 08, 2013

25 Things I Wish I Would Have Learned Earlier in My Life

From a section of my personal ethical will

In no particular order other than what came across my mind as I thought about the subject:

1.   The wisdom of living a life of non-resistance, non-judgment, and non-attachment.

2.   That life gives you just the right experiences that you need to grow to the next level of consciousness (in other words, what you are experiencing in life right now!).

3.   What I resist, persists (and I suffer as a result until I let go -- surrender and change).

4.   "This too shall pass" (whatever is happening ... this emotion ... this life experience ... this moment).

5.   The paradoxical nature of life -- time, space, etc.

6.   The enormous power of the ego (which I grossly underestimated most of my life).

7.   To not take my non-stop thoughts ("monkey-mind") seriously.  Rather, notice how my ego operated to create anger, fear, guilt, distrust -- you name it! -- anything that is not love.

8.   The suffering caused by attachment to "my story" of "my life."  If I would have let go of defending "my story" in my love relationships, change would have been happened much easier and sooner.

9.   The power of projection in relationships.  All of our perceptions are projections!  In other words, to have recognized that his/her anger and blaming are their own issues, not mine ... and likewise, when I'm angry and blaming the other person, they are my own issues, not theirs).  Even "falling in love" projects everything that is "positive" in me onto my lover ... only to realize later that everything "negative" that I ignored in the "fog of love" stage of our relationship -- that eventually shows up in full force -- is my projection as well!

10. The power of mirroring in relationships (I see and love the positive in you that is in me; I hate the negative in you that is in me).

11. The dysfunction in any role identification (father, husband, boss) and role behavior -- the source of virtually all personal inauthenticity in my experience.

12. The power of the "shadow" in the unconscious mind and how it manifests in our behavior (E. Tolle's "pain body"). 

13. The power of intention, plus attention, in manifesting anything in life.

14. That the content ("happenings") and form ("doings") of my life is not who I am.

15. That the present moment is the only "time" there is (the ego loves to deliver thoughts of the past and the future!).

16. The first duty of love is listening; the second is empathizing.

17. That listening wholeheartedly to another person -- presence -- is a true gift.

18.  The wisdom of intimate separateness.  Life partnerships and marriages are as likely to end from lack of separateness as from lack of intimacy.

19.  We are defined by whom and what we love.

20. The joy of solitude; the joy of intimacy.

21.  Joy is a way of being; happiness is a form of joy.

22.  That compassion requires both boundaries and accountability.  The heart of compassion is acceptance for ourselves and others.  Practicing compassion starts with setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior.  Otherwise, you'll feel resentment for people who are taking advantage of you or hurting you with their behavior.

23. Conscious loving = conscious living = conscious dying.

24. Reading poetry aloud and writing poems is a delight.

25. The importance of blessing (one another, places, events) and being blessed.

An Excerpt from My Ethical Will

25 Things I Wish I Would Have Learned Earlier in My LifeSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend