Wisdom on Living & Dying - Frank Langella Interview

For some reason, my mind keeps recalling statements that actor Frank Langella made during an interview Charlie Rose did with him in January:

"You must not attack anyones defense for living."

"It's not right to invade someones defenses."

He made the remarks near the end of the amazing 28 minute interview (start at minute 20) -- and also discussed issues of dying in the video. Charlie Rose did a masterful (and sometimes humorous) job of interviewing the brilliant actor.

Having worked as a counselor (mostly with men and couples) during the 1990's, Langella's statements and my life experience since then seem to have "landed" in a place within that I can only call "wisdom."

Perhaps, with more self-acceptance as I've aged -- coupled with being more able to accept the "defenses for living" of people close to me -- Langella's statements had a deeper meaning for me.

Thank you, Frank Langella and Charlie Rose, for the heartfelt interview. I encourage readers to watch the video. Your feedback is welcomed.

The "Zen Commandments": Wisdom for Living

I just finished reading a new book by one of my favorite Buddhist writers, Lama Surya Das. Titled, The Big Questions, the author writes on the "sacred art of questioning" and offers his views on 14 questions that address life's essential mysteries.

I especially enjoyed what Surya Das says he jokingly calls his "Zen Commandments":

~ Take care, stay aware. Watch your step. Pay attention---it pays off.

~ Awaken your mind, open your heart and energize yourself. Learn to see clearly and love generously.

~ Find a way to live your own spiritual practice. Develop an ongoing spiritual life, not just a few spiritual experiences.

~ Don't see others' light. Exploit your own innate natural resources for a change. Mine the mind.

~ Freedom is a process, not just an idea or ideal outcome. Progress is more important than perfection.

~ Learn to accept, to let go, and let be. Allow.

~ Lighten up while enlightening up. Cultivate joy. Don't take yourself too seriously, or it won't be much fun.

~ Don't cling to anything. Recognize everything is impermanent and like a dream, a movie, a sitcom. Remember the daily mantra: This Too Shall Pass.

~ Not too tight, and not too loose. Stay attuned to the big picture.

~ Be mindful. Pay attention. Keep your eyes peeled. Be vigilant and intelligent about your experiments with reality.

~ Be here while getting there, every single step of the way.

~ Don't rely on mere words and concepts. Just say maybe.

~ Don't be deceived by ideas and opinions, either others' or your own. You just can't believe whatever you think.

Life is precious; handle with prayer.
Be good and do good.
It's now or never, as always.
Meditate as fast as you can.

Amazing life lessons! The guy packs a lot of wisdom for living in just a few words.

What "zen" (or "non-zen") commandments" would you write for your ethical-spiritual will? That's a question I need to answer for myself ... and I encourage you to give it a whirl. Write them down as fast as you can!

More Life Lessons from Randy Pausch

A few months ago I wrote about Professor Randy Pausch and his "Last Lecture." I was pleased to see him on the cover of Parade magazine on April 6th with his story "The Lessons I'm Leaving Behind" and to learn that he had book on "The Last Lecture" on its way to bookstores.

Then a couple days later, Diane Sawyer interviewed Randy and his wife, Jai, on ABC. She called the story, "The Last Lecture: A Love Story for Your Life." I highly recommend it for viewing and passing along to your loved ones.

The essential question Randy's lecture asks everyone to answer (as he did) is:

"What wisdom would you impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance?"

His question is one of the many that we pose to people who are writing an ethical will. While it may be a tough question to answer at any age (since we humans seem pretty resistant to the idea that death will someday visit us and we don't want to face the prospect of our "last chance"), I think it's important for every person and for future generations of humanity that each of us take time to share the wisdom of our unique journey through life.

As Randy Pausch said, "Make Time for What Matters." "Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less than you think."

Pema Chodron's Commentary on The Four Reminders

The latest mailing I received from Shambhala Sun included an insert with a Commentary by Pema Chodron that offers wisdom for "present moment" living:

"The traditional four reminders are basic reminders of why one might make a continual effort to return to the present moment. In your daily life, try to:

1. Maintain an awareness of the preciousness of human life. Beginning to realize how precious life is becomes one of your most powerful tools. It's like gratitude ... once you have this feeling of gratitude for your own life and the preciousness of human birth, then it takes you into any realm.

2. Be aware of the reality that life ends; death comes for everyone. Life is very brief. If you realize that you don't have that many more years to live and if you live your life as if you actually had only a day left, then the sense of impermanence heightens that feeling of preciousness and gratitude.

3. Recall that whatever you do, whether virtuous or not, has a result; what comes around, goes around. The law of karma is that we sow the seeds and we reap the fruit. So when you find yourself in a dark place ... you can think, "Maybe it's time to get a little golden spade and dig myself out of this place."

4. Contemplate that as long as you are too focused on self-importance and too caught up in thinking about how you are good or bad, you will suffer. Obsessing about getting what you want and avoiding what you don't want does not result in happiness."

From The Compassion Box and Awakening Loving-Kindness by Pema Chodron.

Wisdom for 2008: Living in Service

In my reading over the holidays, I came across these powerful words of wisdom from Greek classics scholar Gilbert Murray:

"Live in the service of something higher and more enduring, so that when the tragic transience of life at last breaks upon you, you can feel that the thing for which you have lived does not die."

Quoted in Living Your Unlived Life by Robert A. Johnson and Jerry M. Ruhl, Ph.D.

Helen Luke on "Wisdom"

At the age of ninety, Helen Luke said:

"Wisdom consists in doing the next thing you have to do. Doing it with your whole heart and finding delight in doing it. And the delight is the sense of the sacred."

Although I haven't seen it yet, a 75-minute video called "A Sense of the Sacred: A Portrait of Helen M. Luke" is available from Parabola. Years ago, when I was working as a counselor, I read her book, "The Way of Woman: Awakening the Perennial Feminine." She gave me an understanding of a woman's journey to the "deep feminine" to claim her own power and communicate her message to the world.

I recall reading that Helen asked people who came to her seeking guidance about the deeper significance of their life:

"What kind of story is yours going to be?"

Great question! The kind of question to ask yourself when creating an ethical or spiritual will.

Thank you, Helen, for all the wisdom you shared while you were in this world (and continue to share in the video and in your books).

NOTE: If you prefer to read about Helen Luke instead of watching a video, you may want to read "Such Stuff as Dreams are Made On: The Autobiography and Journals of Helen M. Luke".

Living Wisdom: Quoting Henry Drummond

I received a meeting announcement yesterday from our local Parish Health Ministries Network which offered the following quote by Henry Drummond:

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."

Wisdom worth remembering ... and passing along to future generations.